Letter from the Editor: Everyone's a loser when parents use violence to score points at kids' sport

My days of sitting on the sidelines of junior sport are long gone and I must confess I don’t really miss them.

Most parents are all too familiar with those early, frosty, windy, wet and downright cold mornings watching kids kick a ball around a field.

You’d muster up enthusiasm with a hot cuppa in your hand and shout encouragement to every player, even the ones who were more interested in picking the weeds on the pitch.

If you were lucky like we were, you met some wonderful parents who continue to be friends long after the kids went in different directions.

Hopefully your kids had coaches like ours did – genuine, understanding and supportive people who displayed great sportsmanship and fairness.

But if you were unlucky, you may have come across the kind of parents who give junior sport a really bad, dark name.

Over the past few weeks there have been disturbing reports of violence on the sidelines at junior sport matches, involving mainly parents and spectators. Of course now that everyone has a (phone) camera in their hands, any incident is captured in glorious colour and the footage instantly goes viral.

You only have to google “brawling parents junior sport” to see what I’m talking about.

One recent incident in Sydney involved parents brawling during an under eights soccer match. The young referee had no hope of controlling the scene – he was only 12 years old.

Earlier this year, NSW Country Rugby League referees went on strike because they feared for their safety due to violence and intimidation by parents and spectators at junior games.

In Western Australia, junior sporting clubs were forced to deal with a rising number of violent altercations, including one altercation at a junior girls’ football game in Perth, where a large group of spectators engaged in a violent scuffle as scared children stood nearby and watched.

At another under nine football game, spectators became embroiled in an off-field fight that left one person with physical injuries.

What kind of a message does this send to young kids? That if you’re not happy with a decision you sort it out by throwing punches?

It sets all the wrong examples and only serves to turn kids – and the non-fighting parents – off sport. You couldn’t blame the young referee if he didn’t want to do the job again, who would blame him.

At that junior level of sport, clubs need all the helpers they can, the ones who do set positive examples – helping to set up the goals, cut up the oranges, wash the jumpers, carry the water bottles and of course, referee and coach.

Coaching can be a thankless job especially if you have angry, selfish parents to deal with. They’re the ones whose child is destined to be a superstar and who can do no wrong. And when the child does do wrong, they’re the parents screaming abuse.

Winning is all that matters and losing is for … well, losers.

Woebetide the poor coach who is simply trying to teach the game to youngsters who have the attention span of gnats and just want to kick goals.

Just like that young referee, you can’t blame people for not wanting to volunteer for the job.

Every sporting club has a code of behaviour these days. It is telling that alongside the code of behaviour for players is one for parents.

Most grown-ups understand that a sporting code of behaviour is simply a reflection of what society expects – be respectful, appreciate and applaud the efforts of other people and don’t engage in offensive, insulting or abusive language or behaviour.

Parents and spectators who carry on like violent thugs have no right to stand on the sidelines. They deserve to be sanctioned or banned, but sadly for the kids, that often means they miss out on playing sport with their mates.

However, it’s not just parents on whom kids model their behaviour. In their naive little eyes, their sporting heroes can do no wrong.

They dream of growing up to become another Tim Cahill, Cameron Smith, Lauren Jackson, Buddy Franklin or Sam Kerr.

So when they see sporting heroes doing the wrong thing on the field, it’s a bit confusing. This week alone, 12 NRL and three NRLW players will front the judiciary on a raft of charges including high tackles and dangerous conduct. Six AFL players were sanctioned during the weekend round.

It doesn’t exactly send the right message to impressionable young fans.

As we approach the footy finals season, we can hope that only the best examples of sportsmanship are on display for our up-and-coming junior players – from their sporting heroes and their parents.