Christmas doesn't have to be perfect to be special, so toss the to-do list and relax

Our home looks decidedly unfestive this year.

After some long-anticipated visitors arrived for a much-needed holiday in late November, the time to decorate just didn’t materialise.

My head is buzzing with to-do lists for work, for friends, for family, for the big day itself, and I know I’m not the only one.

It’s easy to feel like you’re drowning when you think of the presents that need to be purchased, parties that must be attended and food only you can prepare.

I think the solution is the same as if we were really drowning, and it’s a counterintuitive one.

Just relax.

I hope you haven’t smashed whatever device you’re reading this on because that’s only going to add to the to-do list. If you haven’t, hear me out.

The Christmas season is stressful. It’s stressful for lots of reasons. It’s busy. There are expectations.

It’s easy to feel like you’re letting others down, that if you stop for just a minute all the plates you have in the air will come crashing down.

Harder still, you might not have others to let down. You might be struggling with loss or loneliness.

Layer on top of that the guilt and frustration many of us carry because we maybe aren’t feeling as festive as we could and it’s no wonder it all gets overwhelming.

Maybe, instead, we could accept that this time of year is wonderful – and tough.

It will stretch the budget and there will never be enough time. You’re going to snap at your annoying parent/sibling/cousin.

You’ll probably forget something important. You probably won’t get everything done at work that you wanted to.

You’ll definitely discover you’re missing a crucial ingredient for everyone’s favourite dish just after the shops have closed.

So what?

You’re not going to remember any of those things anyway (unless you throw that annoying sibling bodily through a hedge, as a cousin of mine did one memorable Christmas).

The way I see it, you can fight all these impossible battles, or you can accept that Christmas is never going to be perfect – but that doesn’t mean it can’t be special.

Look for ways to make life that little bit easier on yourself and those around you. Our family banned presents for adults this year, and geez it’s taken a load off.

I’ve told a couple of much-loved friends to give up on the idea of catching up in December, because January is just around the corner. I’d rather we share a lazy afternoon together than cram in a hurried coffee.

Sometimes you have to let people down, whether it’s not finishing everything you thought you would before the break (sorry boss) or changing a long-cherished Christmas tradition because you just don’t have it in you this year.

That’s OK, too.

This is one Christmas of (hopefully) many more to come.

It doesn’t have to be the biggest and best ever. It’s OK if this Christmas is pared back, or a bit sad, or lonely.

Find the things that truly bring you good cheer and try to carve out a bit of time for them, whether that’s fish and chips on the beach at sunset or volunteering your time with an organisation like LifeLine.

Most of the highlights of our lives are things we couldn’t plan even if we tried. Whatever your Christmas looks like this year, it’s going to bring surprises.

I hope they’re lovely – and I hope you take a moment to enjoy them.

Merry Christmas.