Joe Williams with his kids, Phoenix, Ari, Franki, Rome and Brodi. Photo: Hailey Bartholomew.
If you’ve ever snapped at your kids and thought, “I sound just like my dad”, SEEN: The Film is for you.
Through the unfiltered and authentic narratives of parents, kids and experts in the field, the documentary explores the long-term impact of childhood trauma and the journey of healing to create stronger, healthier families.
Former rugby league player and mental health advocate Joe Williams features – and he’ll be at the upcoming University of Wollongong screening of the film.
Joe said it was the pandemic that really made him take stock of his parenting.
With nowhere to go, he realised that although he was a father, he had no idea how to be a dad.
“It was really confronting,” he said.
“I did a hell of a lot of self-reflection and realised I wasn’t doing a lot of the things I should be for my kids.
“I’d been a father for 16 years but I wasn’t physically and emotionally present.
“It hit me between the eyes that I had a lot of work to do.”
Joe said he knew how crucial childhood development was from his work in the mental health space, but hadn’t made the connection with his own parenting.
He said it was often tough for parents to acknowledge their own shortcomings, and it could be easier to fall back on blaming kids for their behaviour.
“There’s an entitlement from adults in their relationships with kids,” he said.
“We’re often really critical of kids and their behaviours.
“But if they get up in the morning and you’re yelling at them to get ready because you don’t want to be late for work, how can you expect them to have a good day at school?
“When you understand the neuroscience of the impact that has on them, you understand at its core that the behaviour we see is a natural response to this environment.
“They’re yearning for our love, connection and attention.”
Joe said the road to rebuilding his relationship with his own kids required persistence and commitment on his side.
His two eldest children feature in the film as well, and share some home truths.
“They’re brilliant,” Joe said.
“I told them if they had things they needed to say that would hurt me, it’s on me to work through that.
“It might be uncomfortable, but it’s an opportunity for me to reflect and give them my honesty, because if you just shut them down they learn their voice, their feelings, don’t matter.
“That’s not how I want to raise my kids. I want them to grow up knowing they deserve to be respected.”
Joe said the film wasn’t about pointing the finger of blame, but about showing a new path forward.
He encouraged anyone with children in their life to come and watch it, but especially dads.
“There’s layers to the reasons of why we might not be so nice in our family homes, and the early environments we are exposed to form this software in our brains and our bodies to keep people away or gather people in,” he said.
“What we see and are around, there is every chance we will become.
“We can’t do things differently unless we truly see ourselves.”
SEEN: The Film will screen at the University of Wollongong, followed by a live discussion with Joe Williams, on Tuesday, 1 July, at the UniHall from 2:30 pm – 4:30 pm.
Tickets are available here.
