Illawarra residents from the bush to the beach and everywhere in between treasure their weekends. Photo: Jen White.
There are two versions of us all in the Illawarra.
The weekday version, the one who sets alarms, battles traffic, pretends emails aren’t personal and counts down to Friday like it’s a public holiday.
And then there’s the weekend version …
This is the one who emerges somewhere between Friday knock-off drinks and the first coffee on Saturday morning. This is the real you. The unfiltered you. The version shaped by routine, ritual and a mild but unwavering delusion about how much you can actually fit into 48 hours.
Because in the Illawarra, weekends aren’t random. They’re patterned. Predictable. Almost tribal. And whether you’re at a parkrun, a sideline spectator, a market rambler or stuck on the motorway insisting it’s “still moving”, your weekend habits say far more about you than you probably realise.
So, before you say “we’ll just see how the weekend goes”, here’s what your Illawarra weekend actually says about you.
A shopper checks out the fresh produce on offer at Kiama Farmers Markets. Photo: Jon Harris.
The Market Crew (Wollongong, Kiama, Shellharbour)
You wake up early and on purpose, which already sets you apart. You bring reusable bags, but always forget and leave then in the car parked five kilometres away from your destination because of the sheer quantity of like-minded souls. You say things like “let’s just have a wander” and return home with sourdough, olives, honey and a dip that cost more than a pub meal.
You enjoy brief, meaningful conversations with stallholders but have zero tolerance for people who stop suddenly in narrow aisles. Your dog is better behaved than most of the children in attendance and you have strong feelings about whether it should be allowed near the hot food stalls. You will complain about the crowds while forgetting you are actively contributing to them.
Parkrun People (North Gong, Shell Cove, Minnamurra)
You insist it’s “not about the time” but you check the results before the coffee has cooled. You know exactly where you sit in your age category and casually drop this into conversation like it doesn’t matter.
You pretend you’re there for community and mental health — which is true — but you also secretly enjoy overtaking people you don’t know. Your activewear looks suspiciously new for someone who claims they “don’t really run”.
Kids’ Sport Weekends (Everywhere, but especially Dapto, Albion Park and Figtree)
Your weekend is no longer yours. You live out of a folding chair and a boot full of snacks. You’ve mastered the art of clapping politely while questioning refereeing decisions that involve children under the age of 10.
You tell yourself it’s about fun and development, but deep down you’re emotionally invested. You’ve yelled “hands!” louder than you meant to and spent Sunday afternoon recovering on the couch, questioning all your life choices.
You know every other parent’s coffee order and none of their first names.
Young netballers at Fred Finch Park, Berkeley. Photo: Wollongong City Council.
The Bunnings Pilgrimage (Kembla Grange, Shellharbour, “just ducking in”)
You go in for one thing. One. You leave with 12 items, a sausage sanger and a half-formed project that will now dominate your weekend.
You either wander aimlessly, staring at power tools you will never own, or move with terrifying precision. There is no in-between. By Sunday night, something is half-finished, slightly crooked and but still proudly Instagrammed.
The “Quick Drive Up to Sydney”
You say “we’ll miss the traffic”. You never do. You spend more time on the motorway than at your destination, staring at the same brake lights the entire journey. On the return home you resolve your trip has once again reminded you why you live in the Illawarra in the first place.
You tell everyone it was “worth it”, but you are clearly lying. You will swear never to do it again … until next weekend.
The Stay-Local Loyalists (Thirroul to Port Kembla, Shell Cove)
You don’t actually do much, but you do it well. A walk you’ve done a hundred times, coffee from a place that knows your order, lunch somewhere casual that still feels like a treat.
You call it a reset. You earn it every week. You judge people who travel on weekends … but do so from a distance.
If you live in Wollongong you describe anywhere north of Bulli of “a mission I am unwilling to accept”. If you live in Shellharbour, you say the same for Wollongong. If you live in Kiama … okay, who are we kidding, you are not going anywhere.
There are plenty of reasons why Shell Cove residents are happy to stick around their suburb. Photo: Keeli Dyson.
The “We’re Just Popping Out” Weekend (Illawarra Edition)
You leave the house to grab milk and say “we won’t be long” with breathtaking confidence. Somehow though you end up at Bunnings or Stocklands or Wollongong Central, a coastal walk, a café you “just remembered”, and your in-laws’ place.
You are constantly in motion but never actually on time. Your car smells like coffee, sunscreen and regret.
By Sunday night, you’ve been everywhere except your couch … which is exactly where you should have been all along.
The “We’ll See How We Feel” Crowd
You have no plan, which somehow becomes a plan. You drift between naps, snacks and vague ideas of being productive. You end the weekend unsure what you did outside of an entire series of a random tv show on Netflix or some other streaming service, but oddly refreshed.
This is a skill. Not everyone has it. You are winning at life.
In closing: The Illawarra weekend is a beautiful thing. It’s messy, predictable, occasionally exhausting and deeply comforting. It looks different in Austinmer than it does in Albion Park, in Kiama than it does in Port Kembla … but it’s ours.
Just remember: don’t block the market aisles, be kind to junior referees (mostly), let people merge on the motorway and never, ever say “it’s quiet today”.
Because nothing ruins an Illawarra weekend faster than tempting fate …
