Rainbow Shiva, founder of Walk and Talk with Rainbow, says when you’re setting goals it’s important to be kind to yourself. Photo: Walk and Talk with Rainbow.
Plenty of us start the new year with ambitious goals – we’re going to run a marathon, get that promotion or finally quit smoking.
When the first energising glow of good intentions has worn off a few weeks in, however, it’s easy for our ambitions to feel like a heavy load, rather than inspiring aspirations.
If you want to crush big dreams, instead of being crushed under the weight of your expectations, Illawarra counsellor Rainbow Shiva has a few words of wisdom.
She said, as with planning a good road trip, it was important to first identify where you wanted to go.
“You don’t wake up one morning and think, ‘Let’s go to Queensland’ then arrive there,” she said.
“Take some time to think about whether Queensland is somewhere you want to go – if you hate the heat maybe you’d prefer a different destination.
“Then it’s time to think about how you’re going to get there, how you’re going to pay for it, and where you’d like to stop on the way.”
Sometimes it’s better to pick a goal that’s a bit closer to home to begin with.
“Most of us have an idea of what we want to do and what we want to change about our lives,” she said.
“But a lot of us set the bar too high.”
For example, if you’re currently living off a diet of Christmas leftovers and a walk to the letterbox is a workout, running a marathon in March is probably off the cards.
That doesn’t mean you can’t run a marathon next March, with the right approach.
“You might have a long-term goal that is out of reach now, but break that down into medium and short-term goals,” Rainbow said.
“Your short term goals might be something that’s achievable but just out of your comfort zone, like taking a walk around the block every day.
“Once you’ve hit that goal it creates confidence and you can build on it.”
To keep that momentum it’s important to set goals that are meaningful to you on a deeper level.
It’s tough to get out of bed and hit the pavement at 6 am if all you want is to buy a smaller pair of jeans.
If you’re motivated to improve on recent test results from your doctor, or to be healthier for your kids, that deep ambition can sustain you when times get tough.
It can also help to reframe setbacks as opportunities to learn.
“Your goals should align with your values and be worthwhile to you,” Rainbow said.
“You might try a few strategies and they don’t work, so you need to review your goals and your steps to reach them.
“Life happens and when we get curveballs thrown at us we automatically go back to old behaviour.
“It’s a real achievement to be able to identify when that has happened and find a way to get back on course.”
While some people prefer not to set goals at all, Rainbow said they can be a helpful tool for personal growth.
She said there were a variety of ways goal-setting could boost mental health.
“It reduces anxiety because you have a plan,” she said.
“When we achieve our goals it builds confidence in what you can do and that spills over into other areas of your life.
“Our brain is a muscle, so it’s all about starting small, getting good habits in and building on them.”
If you’d like more support to set yourself up for 2026, Rainbow recommended checking out SMARTER goal resources available online, or booking in to speak with a counsellor.
