Political performances in Kiama could do with a little less snark and a little more zhush. Photo: Circus Rio.
The eyes of the state have been on the electorate of Kiama for the past months, ever since its MP, Gareth Ward, was found guilty of rape and a byelection for his seat was announced.
At the same time, the eyes of my husband and myself have been on the Wellington local government election in New Zealand – we’re still ratepayers.
Putting aside Ward’s deplorable and criminal conduct, there’s one notable difference between the Kiama byelection and the Wellington mayoral race, and it comes down to this.
Aussies are boring and we take ourselves too seriously.
Our favourite national pastime is pretending we’re laid-back, lovable larrikins when we’re really a nation of people obsessed with rules and regulations.
This is not an original take.
Our politicians as a result are obsessed with the veneer of respectability. Some periodically do awful things, like crime and corruption, but they rarely do entertaining things.
For example, Kiama’s MP before Gareth Ward – Matt Brown – strenuously denied allegations he danced in his underwear in his parliamentary office on budget night in June 2008, and in 2018 was caught with ice in his possession.
One criminal act, one distasteful act, both pretty run-of-the-mill, and both things that only came to light because he was caught out.
To compare, this year in Wellington, federal MP Tamatha Paul was censured for her criticism of New Zealand police tactics.
In response, she took to the stage at the city’s largest festival, Cuba Dupa, and DJ’d a set that opened with KRS-One’s Sound of da Police and closed with Rage Against the Machine’s Killing in the Name of.
I’d rather watch that than hear a pollie desperately flip-flop in an attempt to offend no-one, only to discover later they’d been committing sex offences in private.
Ms Paul wasn’t alone – at the same event Wellington’s Mayor, Tory Whanau, alongside councillors Ben McNulty, Geordie Rogers, Nikau Wī Neera and Yadana Saw performed a mock council meeting on another stage.
I’m not sure the mock meeting would meet the NSW Office of Local Government’s conduct standards, but geez it’s nice to realise that pollies can see the bullshit, and have a laugh at it too.
Ms Whanau is stepping down at the end of her term, but the candidates to take her place range from serious, career politicians of all stripes to aggressive wannabes and a few more … interesting candidates.
Pennywize the Rewilding Clown attends every debate in full clown regalia. He’s campaigning to turn the city’s cricket ground into a swamp, and genetically modifying tuna to create a more efficient public transport network.
Josh Harford from the Aotearoa New Zealand Silly Hat Party is indeed committed to wearing a variety of very silly hats, and says he would subsidise pizza delivery, legally enforce no-hat-no-play policies and bring in mandatory optimism.
After weeks of listening to earnest Kiama candidates make announcements that have already been made and relentlessly attacking everyone from opposing parties to the Australian Electoral Commission, I’d love to see a smidge of this humour and creativity make its way to our side of the ditch.
If what the people want is bread and circuses, at least give us a circus that’s fun to watch.
I can guarantee if any NSW MPs plan on dropping a DJ set any time soon, I’ll be there.
