Corey Ainsworth is giving back to the organisation that helped him. Photo: Supplied.
When Port Kembla dad Corey Ainsworth gained custody of his three kids, he felt completely out of his depth — until The Fathering Hub helped him find his feet.
Now, after turning his life around with guidance from one of its mentors, he’s paying it forward by supporting other dads navigating fatherhood.
“I had no idea how to be a dad,” Corey said.
“I’d never been a full-time dad.”
The Fathering Hub at Port Kembla, which is the only permanent hub in NSW by charity group The Fathering Project (TFP), was established in 2021 to support fathers and father figures.
And Corey is among its thousands of success stories.
“The first thing I said to him [my mentor] was, ‘I don’t know how to be a dad. I don’t know what I’m doing,’” he said.
Corey said he was taught crucial parenting skills, including how to break down and better manage children’s behaviour, and how to remain calm and be a better dad, especially with a son with ADHD.
He said after 10 months of support, he took on the role of peer support himself to help other dads.
“It changed my life immensely, because I was going down a path where I was going to lose my kids, because of not knowing how to be a dad, not knowing how to discipline correctly,” Corey said.
“I now enjoy being able to give what I had given to me, because there’s a lot of dads out there that struggle and there’s not a lot of resources out there for us.
“Dads will come in who are only seeing their kids, say fortnightly or monthly, and I will contact them the day before they see their children to give them pointers on what to talk about and things to do, like go to the park or play a board game.”
He said it was whatever could be done to spend quality time with their kids and be present.
“Then I call them the day they drop their kids off or the day after, because that’s when you’re at your lowest point,” he said.
“It’s to touch base to see how they’re feeling and make sure they’re mentally there still.”
The Fathering Project CEO Kati Capaillard said it was a place-based hub, which meant it had other providers help create a wraparound support program for dads to complement its targeted, flexible parenting programs.
Kati said the Illawarra was chosen due to the hub’s ability to access many potentially at-risk families and fathers often in low socio-economic areas, though all fathers benefited from its programs.
“The purpose of the program is to offer both one-on-one, group and parenting programs as modes of support that can directly work with the dads,” she said.
She said among options was the Presence Program, which offered one-on-one and group work for separated dads, and the Connect Program, which was a father-specific parenting program.
“There are a lot of support programs for mums, but there’s not so many support programs for dads to understand how to be flexible, how to nurture, how to communicate, how to bond with their children and be present with their families,” she said.
It also has a weekly dads group “walk and talk” to address isolation felt by dads, and a monthly group meeting, where dads can chat about what’s bothering them and collectively work through strategies to cope or ideas.
“When we support dads, we strengthen families as a whole,” she said.
“Our community-based programs meet fathers where they are, whether they’re in crisis, whether they’re rebuilding connections with their kids or seeking connections with other dads.
“The flow-on effect of that is better outcomes for their children, safer homes and stronger, more connected communities and you really see that, especially, in low-income settings.”
Corey encouraged dads to become part of the hub, regardless of their circumstances, whether separated and feeling lost, part of a two-parent household and seeking information, or even an uncle or soccer coach wanting to learn to communicate with children in general.
“It’s one of those things where I know a lot of dads think, I don’t want to do it and don’t know if I really need help,” he said.
“A lot of dads find it hard to accept help or to want help. It’s just that stigma that men have around it.”
Corey admitted he was one of those dads in the beginning.
“If you’re a dad, just give it a go – you won’t regret it,” he said.
“It’s the best thing I’ve ever done in my life, besides having children.
“You’re only going to get what you need from it, whether it’s a counsellor or a dad to talk to if you need to make a friend.”
Kati said there were waitlists for some of its services, with further funding needed from private foundations or government to expand the programs throughout Australia.
Dads can self-refer or be referred through other organisations.
The Fathering Hub is located at The Foundery, 132 Wentworth Street, Port Kembla.
