BEST OF 2024: Road rules aren't difficult, but some drivers are just too dumb to understand

Year in Review: Region is revisiting some of the best Opinion articles of 2024. Here’s what got you talking, got you angry and got you thinking this year. Today, Jen White vents her frustration with dumb drivers.

Driving back from a meeting this week I was deep in thought about this week’s column, when a P-plate driver screamed past me to cut in ahead before the lane finished.

It was probably my fault that I was only driving at the speed limit and watching out for cars ahead of us about to merge; maybe I should have yelled an apology rather than abuse.

Or maybe, just maybe, karma in the shape of a police car could have been sitting just ahead and caught the little weasel.

Of course I yelled abuse and of course there was no police car (never is when you want one).

I’ve mentioned this incident to a couple of people since then and like me, they’ve come across their fair share of dumb drivers. And like me, they’d love to be able to have the power to actually do something about dumb drivers without fear of becoming a road rage statistic.

Take the drivers who don’t understand Keep Left Unless Overtaking. It’s not difficult, it’s a clear and concise instruction – and it’s also the bloody law.

It’s not rocket science: “When driving on a motorway with a speed limit of more than 80 km/h, and two or more lanes, you must not drive in the right lane, unless you are overtaking (also avoiding an obstruction, both lanes of traffic are congested, or a sign says you can)”.

You see them every time you’re on the motorway, the ones who have no idea of the frustration they create in drivers trying to do the right thing and overtake slower cars.

When you do finally get a chance to overtake them – in the left lane – and turn your head to give them a death stare, they are totally, completely oblivious.

My husband is usually a mild-mannered man, but put a dumb driver in front of him, especially at roundabouts, he sheds Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde takes over.

He does have a point though. How many times have you almost collected the dummy in front of you as they slam on the brakes because they see a car approaching the roundabout – four blocks away.

Used correctly, roundabouts should be the ideal way to keep traffic moving but sadly dumb drivers who don’t know how to use them correctly just stuff it up for everyone else.

One of my pet peeves is drivers who don’t know what to do when lanes merge – doesn’t matter whether they’re merging into traffic, or they’re approaching traffic trying to merge.

I reckon their approach to merging reflects their approach to life – they’re either a bit slow to join the party or just want to take over and push everyone else out of the way.

Again, it shouldn’t be that difficult. Throw in some commonsense, decency and a pinch of patience and everyone can happily – and safely – join the party and get to where they’re going on time and in one piece.

Growing up, the standard joke was you could pick the dumb drivers – they were the ones who were wearing hats, or had hats sitting on the rear parcel shelf (Google it) or drove Volvos.

These days I think that mantle has been taken over by little girls driving little cars, or city slickers driving 4WDs the size of a tank.

Little girls in little cars, usually with P-plates, have one ambition in life – to get from Point A to Point B in the fastest possible time, while talking on the phone and applying make-up.

Just get out of the way if you see these gals coming cause anything other than a straight line is difficult for them to follow. I’m sure the statistics about rates of speeding by gender and age would back me up.

And as for those city cowboys – they’d be dangerous too if they weren’t such scaredy cats. They see a speed bump coming and break out in a sweat, before coming to a dead stop and inching their massive, 4WD wheels over the terrifying towers of tar.

I don’t get why you want or need one of these monster trucks if you’re not into off-road driving, or getting down and dirty on the farm. They’re not meant for city streets and definitely not for city carparks where they block the sun and views of oncoming traffic.

And with the price of petrol these days, I’d say some of those city cowboys are just plain dumb.

My brother-in-law (BIL) is not overly tolerant nor patient, but dumb drivers hold a special place in his psyche.

BIL reckons there should be a one-slap rule to deal with acts of stupidity – just one, with no repercussions, no comeback and the stupid person would be suitably chastened, never to commit the stupid act ever again.

In the absence of BIL’s law, I’ll just have to take a deep breath when I get behind the wheel, keep any rude gestures out of sight and hope car karma catches up with the next dumb driver who ruins my ride.