1 April 2025

Say what you want about Wollongong, our sense of humour is alive and kicking

| Zoe Cartwright
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A fine for mobile phones on Bald Hill? Some people reckon it should outlast April Fools.

A fine for mobile phones on Bald Hill? Some people reckon it should outlast April Fools’. Photo: Visit Wollongong.

An Olympics bid, a mobile phone ban in public places, a golden statue of the Hawks’ coach (up a pole, of course) and an extra year of high school – April Fools’ bids across the Illawarra in 2025 ranged from the funny to the downright terrifying.

We’ll let you decide whether leaving your phone at home when visiting iconic locations such the Seacliff Bridge, Bald Hill and South Beach is more or less scary than a compulsory Year 13 of schooling.

Visit Wollongong’s social media post garnered more support than surprise on 1 April.

“Heads up, Wollongong! A brand-new ‘No-Phones Policy’ is rolling out across our most beautiful public spaces to help manage overcrowding in popular local spots and prevent them from being labelled as ‘Insta-worthy’ places,” the post read.

“And yes, it’s 100 per cent enforceable.”

Most commenters wished it was true – although they might change their tune if the ban was put in place.

Year 11 students at Wollongong High School of the Performing Arts were outraged when their principal called a meeting to inform them they would graduate in 2027, not 2026.

The relief was palpable – and noisy – when they learnt they’d been punked – not that kids these days would remember Ashton Kutcher’s viral show of the same name.

The NBL jumped on the prank wagon with the suggestion a golden statue of championship-winning Illawarra Hawk’s coach, Justin Tatum, replace the palm on top of the pole in Wollongong Mall.

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It could hardly be any more divisive than the palm tree – although a solid gold statue would probably cost more than the controversial art piece.

Finally, Wollongong City Councillor Andrew Anthony suggested a bid for the 2030 Olympics.

“Wollongong could grow its reputation as a premier destination for international sporting events,” said an excited Cr Anthony.

“Upgrades to our stadiums, particularly for athletics and track events, would be essential, but this is an opportunity to invest in infrastructure that will benefit the community for years to come.

“We might have a challenge fielding the full line-up of traditional sports, but rest assured, I’m making sure pickleball will be front and centre as a demonstration sport!”

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