Tim Lewis has spoken about stress-related depression. Photo: Supplied.
CONTENT WARNING: This story refers to suicide.
If you want an insight into Australia’s high and indiscriminate suicide rate, especially among men, spend an hour with Tim Lewis.
Tim, 59, is known in the Illawarra business community as an innovative, and lively character who was chief executive of the Illawarra Business Chamber in the early 2000s, and who is now general manager at the holistic gym, Gateway Life in Wollongong.
However, like many other successful people, he is not immune to the scourge which, according to the Bureau of Statistics, claimed the lives of 3214 males and 795 females in 2023.
He spoke frankly recently about how stress-related depression can sneak up and derail the best of careers. And how nonsensical medical red tape can cause more harm than good.
“I started out as a proud Warrawong boy who grew up in the 80s when expectations for boys leaving school was to take up a trade in the steelworks,” said Tim.
He took a different route when a Defence Force recruiting team visited his school and lured him into an avionics apprenticeship.
“I had 10 years in the Air Force in a team responsible for electrical and electronics systems for fighter jets. The training was tough and left a few scars, but overall they were good years,” said Tim.
At 27, he took a redundancy from the Air Force and segued into sales and business where his natural abilities shone.
“I’ve been in senior management now for 25 years which involved some business development – but often it came with a lot of stress,” said Tim.
At 45, he suffered his first bout of depression unaware that statistically he was in the danger zone (40-59) for male suicide.
“At the time I was leading a division of a global liquor business so I put my mood swings down to the heavy demands of the job,” he said.
“The stress would bubble up but I would ignore it because people around me seemed to be coping, and by then I had a family and three children to support.”
His second bout struck in 2021 during COVID, when seeing your own GP was almost impossible.
“I could feel myself spiralling into a dark well but the GP I spoke to over the phone said he couldn’t write me a referral to a psychiatrist because he didn’t have my medical history.
“This was despite the fact he knew I was on the edge and I had lined up a psychiatrist and a rehab program in Wollongong Private Hospital.
“His refusal to write a simple letter was the final straw.
“I wasn’t angry or pissed off because by then I had no fight left in me,” said Tim.
That was the day he considered ending his life.
Luckily, by then, close friends from Port Macquarie had offered him a place to stay on their five-hectare property.
“At the time, I was divorced and my children were near or close to adulthood, so I spent nearly a year there,” said Tim.
“When I first arrived the only thing I could do every day was to get up and cast a fishing line on one particular rock beside the Hastings River.
“I’d be there for two or three hours just casting probably around 200 times a day until all the noise in my head disappeared.
“That was the best natural therapy, and I’m grateful to those friends for saving my life.”
After a year, Tim returned to the Illawarra eager to work again but with clear boundaries.
“I don’t think you ever fully recover from a mental health injury like mine, but it taught me a critical lesson: know your triggers and how to deal with them quickly.”
His strict routine now to keep stress at bay is to hook up an old tinny to his jeep and head to a quiet camping spot beside the water an hour down the coast for a few days.
“I now have a fantastic partner, who I’m marrying next year at Easter. She sometimes joins me on these trips. But if she can’t get away, I’m quite content these days with my own company,” said Tim.
If this story has raised any issues for you, you can call Lifeline’s 24-hour crisis support line on 13 11 14.
