Illawarra Hawks assistant coach Joel Khalu, who splits his time between the Illawarra and his family in Cairns. Photo: Joel Armstrong/Illawarra Hawks.
Every night, in a house far north of the Illawarra, the same ritual plays out.
A phone is propped up on a kitchen bench. The faces of two little boys edge closer to the screen. A teenager acknowledges the scene with a quick glance before heading to her room to listen to music. Standard.
And then a familiar face appears on the screen. It’s dad, tired, smiling, trying to fit a whole day’s worth of love into a few minutes before bedtime.
For Illawarra Hawks assistant coach Joel Khalu, this is the part of the job the public rarely sees.
It’s the family holding steady across a thousand kilometres. Well, 2576 kilometres to be exact. It’s a life split between two coastlines — the Illawarra and far north Queensland — stitched together by routine, resilience and love.
“We don’t miss any days talking to each other,” Joel’s partner Rachel Paron says. “It’s definitely the night time video call … every single night without fail.”
Joel speaks about our Illawarra region with genuine affection, not like someone passing through, but like someone who’s found a sense of belonging.
“I love the Illawarra,” he says simply.
And on the days when the job threatens to swallow every spare second, he looks for something simple … something familiar.
“I try and get some time down at the beach and touch some salt water,” he says.
As much as basketball is his work and his passion, it’s never been the thing that defines him most.
At his core, Joel says he’s someone who cares deeply about impact. About people.
“Being able to use whatever platform you have to be able to make people better,” he says, is what drives him.
And that’s exactly what has made him respected inside the Illawarra Hawks program since he joined mid-season three years ago, answering Justin Tatum’s plea for help. And in turn he’s been embraced by the Illawarra community.
With partner Rach and children Aylah, Tane and Bohdi. Photo: Supplied.
Rachael Paron has never played basketball.
“Basketball, that’s fine with me, I’m the spectator,” the Grade 3 teacher at St Josephs in Cairns laughs.
“The last 10 years we’ve been together is the most amount of basketball I’ve ever had in my life,” she says.
And now, even from their home in Cairns, she watches every game.
“Supporting him … it’s just checking in,” she says. “Giving him updates on the kids all the time … not necessarily talking basketball.”
Then she adds, with a chuckle: “And … giving him our pointers from the couch after every game as well.”
At the stadium, Joel carries himself like a coach should: composed, focused, built for the performance world.
But Rach says at home, there’s a different version of him.
“He’s definitely the fun one,” she says.
And she reckons part of that is because he’s away so much and when he comes home, he wants to make up for time he can’t get back.
“He’s rebuilding and building those relationships with the kids,” she says. “Mum looks like the bad guy sometimes.
“He’s a big kid himself. He’s always playing with the boys. And whatever Aylah is into, he’s like… ‘Right. What are we doing today?’.”
Joel and coach Justin Tatum soak up the atmosphere of the Hawks’ NBL championship parade in Wollongong at the end of last season. Photo: Joel Armstrong/Illawarra Hawks.
Joel’s work is in the Illawarra where he is Tatum’s right-hand man and the man many believe will be a future NBL head coach wherever.
Rach says when the Hawks opportunity first came up, it made sense from a career perspective.
“From his career point of view, it was a no brainer,” she says.
At the time, the family was already transitioning back to Cairns from Mackay, their house had been built, Aylah was about to start high school and the timing just clicked.
But when the next contracts came, the conversation became more complex.
“How are you going to cope with not seeing the kids?” she remembers thinking. “How am I going to cope doing everything here on my own?”
Last year, she was pregnant with their youngest, Bohdi while finishing her degree, starting a full-time teaching job, navigating high school with Joel’s stepdaughter Aylah, 14, raising their four-year-old Tane and carrying the daily load solo.
Then came the moment that sums it all up.
“We had Bohdi on the Monday morning and Joel was back in Illawarra on the Thursday,” she says.
“I was like … I don’t know how I’m going to do this. But … staying strong, being Mum … and keeping three kids alive this whole time.”
Drawing up a play for the Hawks during a timeout. Photo: Joel Armstrong/Illawarra Hawks.
Joel doesn’t gloss over what that means.
“The sacrifices she makes,” he says as his eyes gloss, “for me to be able to be here every single day…”
The family video calls matter, because the boys feel the distance.
Tane is a typical young boy. And he misses his dad in a way that lives in his whole body.
“If we do miss a night, he gets quite emotional,” Rach says. “He takes after his father, that’s for sure.”
Then there are the reunions.
When Joel comes home, what’s the first thing the kids do? Rach laughs.
“Run and jump at him, that’s for sure. Especially Tane.”
Tane doesn’t just hug him. He sticks to him.
“He’ll take Joel’s hat off his head and put it on his own … and just snuggle into him … as if to say, don’t go again,” Rach says.
Even from Queensland, Rach can see why Joel has connected so deeply to the Illawarra region.
And when they visit, the warmth isn’t just from the summer sun (without the Cairns humidity).
“The people at the club remember us … even though we’re only there once a year,” she says. “JT will come up and give us a hug … remembers our names … and they’re all just so lovely.”
Rach admits she feels connected, partly through the club, partly through Joel’s love of the place.
For Joel, that sense of community matters. He says he’s “a big community guy”, someone who wants to be part of something bigger than himself.
And in the Illawarra, he’s found it.
Joel with NBL legend Cal Bruton during the Hawks’ championship celebrations. Photo: Joel Armstrong/Illawarra Hawks.
Rach doesn’t hesitate when asked about Joel’s future.
“I truly believe that’s going to happen,” she says, speaking about him becoming a head coach in the NBL.
“He’s worked his behind off for that … for a very long time.”
But whatever comes next, it has to fit the family.
“At some stage, us all being together again would be amazing,” she says. “All being in one place … Joel getting to be a part of … everything.”
And if Hawks fans want to understand the man behind the coach, Rach’s answer isn’t about basketball.
It’s about character.
“He’s a genuine, genuinely good person,” she says. “He will help people out no matter what … whether he knows you or not … he’s a good dude.”
But when the phone lights up on the kitchen bench each night, and two little boys’ faces peer at the screen and a dad smiles through the distance … the truth becomes simple.
The Illawarra might see a coach. But somewhere in Queensland, a family sees something else entirely.
A man they love. A life they’re building.
And a dream that — one day soon, they hope (and we all hope) — won’t have to be lived through a screen.
The Illawarra Hawks only have three home games remaining for the NBL26 season with the next game at the WIN Entertainment Centre against the Perth Wildcats on January 31 at 8 pm. Tickets are available at Ticketmaster.
