Valentine's Day in the Illawarra 'practically abandoned' 100 years ago

In 1995 Australia Post issued this 45 cent stamp (above).

But, going on the historical evidence in Illawarra, Aussie Post was rather late to the party – for the mailing of Valentine’s Day cards seem to have been well on the way out even 100 years earlier.

There was a time in Illawarra, however, when charming little missives known as Valentine’s Day messages crossed and intercrossed each other at every street and corner. The weary postman was said to almost sink beneath his load of delicate embarrassments.

Just as classified advertisements were once “the rivers of gold” of Australian newspapers, the early Australian postal service may have once made a very pretty penny in the days leading up to the day of observation.

Fourteen February is the day supposedly dedicated to that patron saint of tender passion, known as St Valentine, a name which once conjured up the ancient romance of chivalric gallant knights, sword in hand, disputing as to who should first greet his loved one at the casement window on St Valentine’s morn.

But by the time of the white invasion in the Illawarra, instead of jewelled gifts being given by the few well-heeled residents, some local yokels simply sent love message on paper, a few of which were, reputedly, more insulting than either polite or amorous.

Nearly all the old English poets allude to the fuss that once was made of Valentino’s Day. Chaucer mentions it, so does Lydgate (died 1440), and so does Shakespeare.

Michael Drayton, a poet of Shakespeare’s day whose poems were very suitably printed by a man Valentine Simmes, was among the best – even though Valentine’s Day in England fell as winter was ending, whereas in Australia it was celebrated in the closing weeks of summer.

TO HIS VALENTINE
Muse, bid the morn awake,
Sad winter now declines,
Each bird doth choose a mate,
This day’s St. Valentine’s;
For that good bishop’s sake
Get up, and let us see,
What beauty it shall be,
That fortune us assigns.

According to legend, St Valentine was put to death in Rome when Claudius was emperor, but the commemoration of the supposed day is possibly more ancient and there is no circumstance, as far as is known, in the life of Valentine from which it could have originated.

There is, however, a very old myth to which the poet Drayton alludes in the poem above that birds choose their mates on this day.

Thus the actual date, the 14th of February, may have been celebrated as a day of gifts even before the time of Saint Valentine (the third century A.D.).

Yet I guess celebration may well have been later reinvigorated by some more modern marketing genius – as with Mother’s Day and then Father’s Day and now Halloween.

In the early and late nineteenth century Illawarra, however, many young folk apparently took advantage of the date in giving expression to tender sentiment and people welcomed receiving letters and cards and scraps of paper emblazoned with rhyming couplets:

I am yours; and you’ll be mine
I will be your Valentine.

But by 1894 in Illawarra the epistolary game was predicted to very soon be over – if not already dead. According to the Illawarra Mercury (17 February 1894): “The practice no very long time ago common of sending ill-natured, or jocular or amorous missives to people on Valentine’s Day has been practically abandoned now, locally at least. Most of us can remember how the stationers were at this time in the habit of decorating their windows with the varied kinds of valentines, which were then popular. We apprehend that the Christmas and birthday card, a far more graceful mode of expressing friendly sentiments, has ousted the inartistic, flimsy, ugly and not infrequently offensive valentine.”

More than a century later, today Christmas and birthday cards also look like they are very much on their last legs – despite the diehards who insist on sending them.

But in the 1930s The Australian Women’s Weekly was implying actual Valentine’s gifts were the go rather than a soppy card.

In 2025 Valentine’s Day seems to be more often celebrated by couples already hitched – and by treating one’s paramour or beloved to a fine dining experience.

This 14 February – all the way from Panorama House high on the Illawarra escarpment, to Boveda down below in Thirroul and then all the way through Illawarra to the Oak Flats and Gerringong bowlos – special Valentine menus will be on offer.

Will the Valentine’s Day card survive? But, while waiting to find out, have a listen to the finest Illawarra Valentine’s Day song by Kay Proudlove, the co-director of the Illawarra Folk Festival in both 2024 and 2025.