An example of the oversized characters part of Christmas parades. Photo: Kellie O’Brien.
Sure, you might have Santa cruising down the main street on a fire truck in the city or the Salvation Army shaking their bells, but let’s face it – these don’t quite scream “Christmas parade”.
No, real Christmas parades are best experienced out in the small towns, where every vehicle with a bit of tinsel and a couple of kids becomes an honorary “float”, and the entire town shuts down to watch the spectacle pass by.
Back in Tassie, every town worth its salt has a Christmas parade.
And if you don’t quite understand what that means, think Mardi Gras, but swap the sequins and Kylie for Mariah on repeat, and more … clothes.
Parade “floats” generally consist of community groups piled onto the back of flatbed trucks, gripping the rails for dear life as they wave like royalty to crowds sitting in the gutters often around an entire street block.
Sitting in the gutter may not sound glamorous, but trust me when I say no Christmas was complete without the experience. And it also meant a front row seat to the action (and Santa’s lollies).
As a teenager working a weekend job at Best and Less, we’d shut down cash registers just to peek out the windows at the parade. Ah, there’s nothing more magical than witnessing your best friend from school dressed as an elf and sitting on a hay bale.
So, imagine my disappointment when moving to the Illawarra to find Christmas parades just aren’t really a thing here.
Well OK, I’ve since discovered Gerringong and Dapto Mall have kept the tradition alive.
The beauty of Christmas parades in small towns is you tend to know everybody either sitting on the back of the trucks or sitting in the gutters.
Heck, I’ve even featured on a couple of floats throughout my lifetime.
Generally, they’re held on a Friday night or Saturday morning when shoppers are out and about getting their last-minute gifts anyway. Not that anyone gets served much while the parade is on.
There are some things that are synonymous with a Christmas parade.
You’ve got the dance troupe in costumes from their latest recital, doing jazz hands while they walk the streets.
Next is the junior AFL team, handballing the footy on the back of a truck so as not to have to make eye contact with the crowd. And let’s not forget Miss Junior Football Club in her plastic tiara and sash awkwardly sitting in among them.
Somewhere in the line-up, there’ll be a trucker leaning out his window, all tattooed arms and Santa hat, honking at kids who frantically make the “pull the horn” gesture. Cue an old guy in the crowd muttering, “ooh, pardon me”.
There’ll be a mum on a float, clinging on to kids dangling dangerously close to the edge, as they try to touch the crowd.
And of those in the crowd? There’ll be a kid with their hands over their ears (those horns are loud) and further down a kid with their hands covering their eyes (terrified of the oversized Looney Tunes mascot that somehow made it into the parade).
Throw in a school group, always in a DIY nativity setup; angels with wonky halos, shepherds with tea towels on their heads, and one frantic Mary who can’t remember where she last sat Baby Jesus down.
Vehicles get more random as the parade progresses – a sports car, a vintage car, probably a golf buggy and a farmer’s ute that’s hiding at least 10 kids and a dog.
The whole spectacle ends with the big jolly man himself, Santa, on his “sleigh” (aka a trailer bed with some tinsel and an oversized chair).
At one time he threw out lollies, which kids scrambled in the gutters to grab.
That was until the Santa police put a stop to throwing things from vehicles. Grinches.
Then, just as you think it’s coming to an end … the whole parade does a second lap.
By then, the little angels on the trucks are throwing tantrums because they’re hungry and ready to get off.
Honestly, it’s a blast and your Christmas was never complete without experiencing the colour and excitement of a Christmas parade.
So if you’re ready to embrace the small-town Christmas parade tradition, don’t be a grinch and get along to the Gerringong Christmas Parade on 21 December from 10 am and Dapto Mall Christmas Parade on 23 November from 9:30 am.
Loading ...
