Tired of dating in a world of swipe right? New Wollongong singles events are reinventing romance

With dating apps becoming expensive and exhausting with no guarantees of success, how do you meet someone for genuine friendship or romance if you’re not part of groups or clubs?

As a single woman tired of the apps, that’s the question Gretel Van Lane began asking herself.

“I‘ve started Wollongong Singles because there’s a need for it,” Gretel said.

“I wanted to create a regular event that could replace the apps.

“They’re expensive, they’re overwhelming, they’re time consuming and you never know what you’re going to get.

“Worst case scenario, you have a good night. Best case scenario, you meet a romantic interest, or you even just refine what you’re looking for.”

Renowned for her Dinners With A Difference events which bring people together in meaningful ways and spark deep conversions, Gretel decided it was time to start unique weekly singles events.

“I’ve been thinking about singles, being single, and how to do it differently for a while and so a couple of months ago I ran a test idea where I combined the Dinners With A Difference and created some games to make it a bit more lighthearted and fun,” she said.

“We had 45 people come – half men, half women – and we had more than 30 people on the waitlist.

“People have been asking me for months, ‘When are you going to run another one?’”

Gretel said whether participants were looking for friendship or a new romantic connection, the events were aimed to be a more relaxed, inclusive and supportive way to meet people.

Launching from September, the events will include a different cohort each week – ages 20-35, 30-45, 45+ and the LGBTIQ+ community.

She said while dating apps had been around for 30 years, “we’re over them”.

“Maybe we’re going back to go forward, but we just need to recreate the dating scene, because the way it’s working now, it’s exhausting,” she said.

“The other month, I dropped $80 on a dating app really quickly.

“I’m finding they’re becoming more and more expensive, there are more features you have to pay for, and so I’m finding it really difficult to even match with people in my area that I’m interested in.”

She said her events had also ditched the high-pressure format of traditional speed dating and replaced it with fun, facilitated activities that made connecting with others easier.

“It’s going to be a combination of games and conversation cards,” she said.

“It’s not a speed dating event. You’ll be on a table with four to six people, and we’re going to rotate around the room.

“You’ll always have a wing person with you, so won’t be alone fumbling around.

“Then you’ll be moving around the room to either do some conversation cards that dip beneath the surface so you can get to know people, or some games which also have some sort of icebreakers engaged with it.”

She said examples of games would be Uno and Jenga, with each Jenga piece having a question on it.

“When you pull out a Jenga piece, you need to answer the question,” she said.

“Expect a really lighthearted facilitated process where you turn off for two hours, meet a lot of people, have a lot of fun and hopefully meet a romantic interest.”

She said the goal was also to keep people safe, with both genders concerned about safety when dating.

“There’s a lot of concern about safety, and so meeting in a safe, supported environment takes the pressure off and enables you to develop authentic connections with a group of people,” she said.

“Having a place you can turn up to and know everybody’s single and know you’re in a group is really comforting to a lot of people.

“You also get to meet a wider variety of people at events, rather than being defined by an algorithm.”

From the test event, she said people found it refreshing to meet others through a different format.

“What surprised me was a lot of people were quite nervous at the beginning but very quickly you relax and have a laugh, because we’re all in it together,” she said.

Gretel said tickets were already selling fast for all groups.

“Statistically, there are more men on the apps, but when I’ve run single events, the women sell out faster than the men,” she said.

Book Wollongong Singles tickets for events starting 12 September at The Prince in Wollongong.